50 Ways To Annoy Twilight Characters
by ScarredShaddix
Summary: 50 ways to annoy all of your favorite Twilight characters.
1. 50 Ways To Annoy Edward Cullen

**A/N: How many of these types of stories have actually been made? Whatever, get ready for another one. : P**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight and all that jazz so...yea...**

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**50 Ways To Annoy Edward Cullen**

1.Follow him around concentrating really hard on extremely dirty things.

2.Follow him around concentrating really hard on songs from shows such as Barney and The Wiggles

3.Every time he walks near you jump in front of the nearest car and scream "Save me Edward!"

4.Keep bugging him to tell you what Bella's thinking no matter how many times he insists that he can't read her mind.

5.Tell him that you do know what Bella is thinking and refuse to tell him what that is.

6.Every time you see Bella after number 5, look at her as if in deep concentration and from time to time look at Edward and go, "Oooh, Thats Juicy!"

7.Challenge him to a breath holding contest and accuse him of cheating.

8.Take his pulse and call 911 when you 'discover' he doesn't have any.

9.When you 'discover' he's a vampire, throw holy water on him and shout,"The power of Christ compels you!"

10.Force him to have a conversation about socks with you and every time he says the word sock shout "QUACK!"

11.Tell him he seems cold and ask if he would like a blanket.

12.Tell him that Jacob thinks he's a sex god.

13.Tell him that Sam thinks he's better than a sex god.

14.Push him out into the sunlight and jump on his back shouting the words to "Diamonds Are A Girls Best Friend" but change the word girl to werewolf and the word diamonds to Edwards.

15.Accuse him of making Jacob 'happy' at night.

16.Make Jacob somehow to agree with your accusation in front of everyone.

17.Tell Aro that Edward would like to set up a ball room dancing class with him and the rest of the volturi.

18.Dye his hair blue and give him round black sunglasses and threaten to hide Bella if he doesn't wear them to school.

19.Blindfold him and take him to a tanning salon.

20.When he attempts to change Bella into a vampire throw rocks at him.

21.Once he gets used to the rock throwing and still tries to change her, throw yourself in between them and start chats.

22.Eventually, he'll still try to change Bella and thats when you get a a sign and put it on his door that says 'Become a vampire by Edward Cullen! Only fifty cents!"

23.Summon an arsenal of Gay men to hit on him constantly.

24.Fly above him in a helicopter and wherever he goes spotlight him.

25.Tell Mike Newton that Edward has stolen more than just Bella from him and make sure they're constantly running into eachother. Let Mike do the rest.

26.Jump out of corners and proceed to beating him with large planks of wood every ten minutes.

27.Sit in his room and stare at him for hours.

28.When he demands why you're staring at him tell him that you're not leaving until he falls asleep.

29.When he tells you he can't sleep, threaten that Santa won't come if he stays awake.

30.Force him to go disco dancing with you.

31.Five minutes after you arrive force him to go somewhere else to go roller disco dancing with you.

32.Tell him he's not a good disco dancer before you've even gotten your skates on.

33.Read him a list of reasons why he should marry Mike Newton.

34.Read him a longer list of reasons why Bella should marry Mike Newton.

35.Go on to read a list of reasons why he should marry Jacob.

36.Try to convince him that Bella his Charlie and Billy's love child.

37.Tell him that his sweater makes him look beefy.

38.Ask if you can chew on his arm.

39.When he says no, chew on his arm anyway.

40.Capture a live pigeon and put it in his pants.

41.Say sorry for putting the live pigeon in his pants and then offer to get it out.

42.Give him corn rows.

43.Tell him his corn rows make him look ignorant.

44.Replace his entire CD collection with Jeffree Star.

45.Tell him that Jasper wants to 'feel' him.

46.Whenever he tries to leave the room grab onto his leg and beg him not to leave.

47.Climb around on the ceiling above him and jump down on him whenever Bella walks into the room.

48.Spray cheese into his mouth and force him to swallow it, all the while yelling, "WHAT'S WRONG EDWARD, DON'T YOU LIKE THE CHEEEEEEEESE?!

49.Tell Bella that he's gay.

50.Whenever he gets mad at you for annoying him so much, turn to the nearest person and go,"Don't worry, its just his time of the month."


	2. 50 Ways To Annoy Bella Swan

**A/N: Wow, I got a lot of reviews for this one. xD Who knew? I love how easy it is to update this. The rating went up because I decided to be slightly inappropriate. Hehehe...**

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50 Ways to Annoy Bella Swan

1.Tell her you took a pigeon out of Edwards pants.

2.Tell Mike Newton that Bella personally told you that she would take him to prom. Let Mike do the rest.

3.Inquire about her 'toe fungus problem' fifteen times in each conversation you have with her.

4.Tell Charlie that Edward is planning to elope with Bella to Mexico. Charlie should do the rest.

5.Tell Jacob that Bella told you that she thinks he's a sexy beast.

6.Tell Emmet, Jasper, Mike Newton, Sam, Billy, and Rosalie the same thing.

7.Tell Jacob that Edward might suck blood, but you should see what Bella's sucking. Let Jacob do the rest.(A/N: This is why the rating went up.)

8.Every ten minutes run up to her and shout, "SAVVY?!"

9.Follow her around with Mike and whenever she says something or looks at Edward run up to her and snap in her face.

10.After each snap yell, "Bitch please!"

11.Tell Alice that she's officially allowed to redecorate Bella's room in any way she wants.

12.Pay someone to hire Bella as a professional clown.

13.Pay the person extra to hire her as a vampire slaying clown.

14.Ask her to go cliff diving with you.

15.Tell Jacob she wants to go cliff diving with him 'again'.

16.Tell Mike Newton that her favorite song is The Hokey Pokey and that he should go around singing it to her to make her happy.

17.Add that she likes getting slapped on the ass while having it sung to her.

18.Everyday at three o'clock go to her house and start screaming the lyrics to Happy Birthday.

19.When she insists that its not her Birthday tell her she shouldn't be such a baby and just enjoy her birthday.

20.On her actual birthday pat her on the back and say, "Another year older...than Edward."

21.Tell her that Edward has left her for Jacob.

22.When she gets upset rub your fingers together and tell her your playing the worlds smallest violin.

23.Ask her if she's a good witch or a bad witch.

24.Force her into a conversation about something and whenever she says words such as 'a' or 'the' start crying and screaming, "WHY WON'T YOU JUST LET ME GO HOME?!"

25.When she tries to go to sleep at night sit on the edge of her bed and remind her that Edward won't come until she leaves.

26.Then remind her that your not leaving.

27.Hide her in a closet and tell Edward she's in Italy so she can be changed by Aro.

28.Once Edward is in Italy, let her out of the closet and tell her that he's gone to Italy to be 'changed' by Aro.

29.Wink when you say changed in number 28.

30.Chew gum and pop it in her hair.

31.Offer to shave her head to get rid of the gum.

32.When she refuses, shave her head anyway claiming later that you thought she said "Please do!"

33.Make her drink tea with you and a teddy bear named 'Mr.Wugglekins."

34.Total her car.

35.When she asks how you totaled her car tell her you hit Edward.

36.Tell her that Edward died when you hit him.

37.When she asks how, tell her you 'accidentally' drug him into the woods and set him on fire.

38.Dump a bucket of yogurt on her head every morning.

39.Jump out from behind random furniture in her house and scream every five minutes for three hours.

40.Tell Jacob that Bella would love him if he came to her school and sang her a song dressed as a bunny.

41.Take her to the garbage dump and tell her that Edward is hiding and wants her to find him.

42.When she doesn't believe you, threaten to find him yourself.

43.Buy her a puppy named Jacob for Christmas.

44.Buy her a cat named Edward for New Years.

45.'Accidentally' let Edward the cat and Jacob the puppy 'play'.

46.When she asks where her puppy and her cat are tell her that they ran away to join the circus.

47.Tell her Edward the vampire went with them.

48.Glue her hand to her face.

49.Sign her up for the volley ball team at the local YMCA.

50.Sign Mike up as well.


End file.
